1. |
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Bumpin' B-holes In The House Of Gay Turds
Pucker smooching pucker
This is gettin' gnarly
B-hole bumpin' b-hole
A starfish makeout party
Point five stole her mary
her bloody fucken mary
Prelude to a ManPile
Prelude to a Manpile
Gettin' kinda serial
They seem like homophiles
Creepy puckers puckerin' up
Cannot tell if they're turned on
Pucker up Buttercup
Pucker smooching pucker
This is gettin' gnarly
B-hole bumpin' b-hole
A starfish makeout party
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2. |
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Pantie-Moistening Clot-Riddled HaemoBelch
Wafting fishy uterine breeze
Copper-reeking pudenda
Blasting foetid, crimson cunt clots
Into her lacy prison
Front-bottom porridge headbutts her cotton safety mat
Panties moistening,
Piss flaps quivering
Gaseous schmoo bleeds,
A slushy, gushing flushing
Grab me by the ears,
Force me to my knees
Pull aside the crotch
Shot-gunned HaemoBelch!
Clots jammed between my teeth
On leaking vag I feast, through my ears I breathe
Fight the urge to heave, as I sneeze out my cock snot
The smell of my spilt seed, fishy and chunky
Makes you cum loudly
I’m eating rainbow kisses!
Shotgunned HaemoBelch!
Bloody cooze-cum coated clots run from my chin.
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3. |
Fisted Midget Puppets
00:13
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Fisted Midget Puppets
Can't afford a puppet
So I abduct a dwarf
Midget on my digits
Says what I want
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4. |
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Stop! You're Destroying My Vagina
Calloused fingers parting your soft lips
Wincing in pain so you can't get wet
Dry humped by Mrs. Palmer's five daughters
More painful than listening to Mortician
"Stop! You're destroying my vagina"
"Stop! You're destroying my vagina"
Removal of your undies
Prepares your ladiness
For my special brand of
Destructilingus!
Stubble-fuck your blistering lips
Coliteral damage as I Phil your bits
They're sanded down for gash smash action
"Stop! You're destroying my vagina"
Drop your pants, but fuck the lube
I'm in the mood for desert poon
Grasp your ankles, bite my lip
Stop crying before I go limp
As I bruise your cervix with my knob
And batter your buttocks with my pouch
Little Man's boat sinks in a sea of red
So I leave Tuna Town to savage your mouth.
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5. |
I Gave Up Lent For Rape
00:47
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I Gave Up Lent For Rape
I'm quitting Lent to wet my gent
Forcing "hell no!" into "Yes!"
Won't be long until I vent
Just lay back and take my length
Dine on my fishy-stick and chicken skin balls
You will not be breaking any old Catholic dietary...
Laws!
Smells like fish and tastes like chicken
Guess what meat I'm forcibly lickin'
I guess I didn't quit Lent after all.
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6. |
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Keep Sleeping I'm Almost Done
Keep sleeping I'm almost done
Continue dreaming of true love
Wait 'til you see what I've done to your bum
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7. |
Puke My Pants
00:54
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Puke My Pants
Sweating brow and tight-clenched teeth
Not to mention my arse cheeks
Hold my breath and lock my knees
Ferocious peristaltic grief
Close my eyes against the urge
Date's concerned, I'm on the verge
Submission to colonic purge
Anus vomits scalding turds
Puke my pants
I've puked my Pants
I’ve soiled me strides, I've shat me dacks
No matter how you word it I've shit my pants
I’ve skidded in me shorts, I've made pants stew
No matter how you word it I just done pooed
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8. |
Anus On Hiatus
00:45
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Anus On Hiatus
Her arsehole, it needs a break
Shooting porn films seven days
I see stretch marks on her rump
Her faeces: more cum than dung
Last flick filmed:
AnalRapist 12!
She gets home, her boyfriend's hot
But won't approach her rotten-crotch
Hangars aren't for hotdogs, he flips his bitch
Stuffs four inches in her shit
She doesn't feel a thing
He's pissed, he grips her nape and
Fisticuffs her porncock-weathered bung
If sex is a pain in the arse
You're doing it the wrong way!
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9. |
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I Felt Her Chest Hair Tickle My Tongue
Clammy hands cup sagging mamms
Bellybutton in her cleavage
Stretch marks, veins and liver spots
I think lightning hit my penis
Beaver with guts hanging out
Roadkill's shroud is granny panties
Rubs against my zip-chafed bone
Geriatrics drive me spastic
Did I just feel this grandma's chest hair...
Tickle my tongue?
My pants become a cum dumpster
I'm instantly down for Round Two
Suck her hairy areolæ
Haireola boner!
Remove the bra, I'm twice as hard,
Grandma grundies off!
I have never, ever seen more
Hairy chesticles
Granny jelly
Runs onto me
As I maul her
Hairy areolæ
Haireolæ!
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10. |
Prenatal Ejaculation
00:48
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Prenatal Ejaculation
Penile-dominated ultrasound
Happy couple look on, stupefied
Cunt-doctor points at the sonogram
"Is that Foetal Erectile Mass-function?"
Mum's disgusted at Dad's pride:
"Look at that kickstand in his hand!"
The little bloke
Strokes his spoke
Paternal cock-envy, hot & heavy
Dad flops his tocko out!
Foetal dude-spume floods the womb as
Dad evicts his knuckle-children
Prenatal ejaculation
Flushes bun from Mum's oven
Doc mops up the baby batter
And the masturbatory miscarriage
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11. |
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It's Not The Farting I'm Worried About,
It's The Crapping My Pants
Is that reek what I think?
Sphincter's slamming shut
Afraid that squeak from between my cheeks
Is going to yield mud.
It's not the!
Farting I'm worried about it's the crapping my pants!
It's not the!
Gaseous emissions, it's the staining of my dacks!
Of all the gross things that end up in my pantaloons
I've got to say that the worst is definitely pooh.
I just went to Brown Town in my Froot Of The Looms.
You've just
Read another Crap Factory song about crap...
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12. |
Hobosexual
00:43
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Hobosexual
Scoping out the soup kitchens like a
Fat chick stalking cake
Hapless bum, heavy with foetid cum,
Lured with a foot-long sub
Stench-fogged date in a shipping crate
Makes her south-mouth salivate
Leaking lube that's sieved through pubes
Soaking her cushion made of news
I betcha never seen a cunt stain on an Onion!
Dumpster tryst that smells like piss
Fishy prick betwixt her lips
Dripping wet at the smell of shit
Leaking on the
Bum-stained, cum-stained cardboard mattress
No sicker than the bloke who's bearing witness
Baring thickness to this slick mess.
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13. |
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Colostomy Bag Full Of Cum
A colostomy bag full of cum or a faecal-freak's piñata?
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14. |
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All Aboard!:
The Unsettling Motorboatin' Mammscapades
All aboard!
The unsettling
Motorboatin'
Mammscapades
Ha ha ha!
Boobs!
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15. |
Anally Aborted
00:05
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Anally Aborted
Ow! My Balls!
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16. |
Manstruation
01:39
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Manstruation
Copulating, with his favourite squeeze
Dinner and a movie and 'twas, back to his
Knees to her ears, balls pummel her rear
She's a quivering mess as he pulls, out his gear
Something's not right, but in this dim light
No need to guess what he's expressed all, over cunt and thigh!
She screams, he screams, they all scream as he creams!
Urethral gleep, spitting bloody seed
Monthly messy macho manses, bleeds freely
Seminal blood, all over her junk
Looks like a cleaver hit her in the beaver yet she cums!
The blood The cum The horror - Still it runs
The blood The cum The horror - Still it pumps
The blood The cum The horror - From his manstruating
The blood The cum The horror - Mangina
She moves on, seems to forget
Weeks later, she gets revenge
Rides his face, like it's a bull
Busts his lip and makes him drool
Gasps as she reaches orgasm
Squirts so hard she shoots her tampon
Like a bullet of blood-gorged cotton
He gags when it hits his tonsils
Then sucks on her cupro-lolly
He's risen to the occasion
Obviously gets his jollies
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17. |
Dead Baby Circle Jerk
00:08
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Dead Baby Circle Jerk
Dead babies make us cum
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18. |
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If She Didn't Like Carpet I'd Give Her The Wood
I know she'll only dine at the Crab Shack but I try
To make her give up box dinners, a no-cunt diet
Make her look past the tuna and choose my tube steak
She'd rather knock Birkenstocks than ride my
Trouser snake
I'd fill her to the brim
I'd make her ditch the quim
Yet she will only eat out at Fishy Joe's(ephine's)
Ordering fish tacos, not my frank and beans
Scissor! Her timbers.
We have so much in common; we both love mammaries
She loves twat and I love twat, the L-Word and Foxy
Boxing
If she didn't like carpet, I'd give her the wood!
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19. |
Sex On The Rag
00:33
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Sex On The Rag
I smell the leak from between her knees
Rip her panties off
Like a parachutist pull the string
Blood comes gushing out
I've gone menses-dam busting
Spread her legs that glisten red
Dive in taste-buds first
A threesome with her Aunt Flo
I've got a Prego grin
Got my redwings tonight!
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20. |
Decapitated... And Gay!
00:32
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Decapitated... And Gay!
I'm bored, got nothing better to do
Decide to mug this uppity dude
Turns out he's got 4 bucks and a condom
I squeeze his bollocks to drop him down to the ground
I squat over his hammering chest
To end his life and sever his head
That's when I notice he's pitched a tent
Thus I leave him decapitated...
And gay!
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21. |
Pussy Toilet
00:10
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Pussy Toilet
Urinary scissoring
Piss flaps piss on piss flaps lovingly
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22. |
So... Anal Is A No?
01:09
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So... Anal Is A No?
Pouring vodka into this
Barwhore 'cause I've heard that she'll
Take you on down to Browntown
But I need my Dutch courage
She's uglier than a sack
That's filled with busted arseholes
Only groggles can help me
I make my move...
Groggy grabbings in her panties
Sagging labbies kiss my wrist
Coughing, gagging as I pry open her leaking cheese sandwich
Gooey, gluey, dribbling jism, rivulets from her foul snizz
Hit her up for anal action, traction is a miss.
Hope she enjoys her walk home
Pouring Jaeger into this
Barwhore 'cause I've heard she's the
Express bus down to Browntown
I'd ride that for a dollar!
So I stick her in her knickers
Breach her cheeks and split her difference
Hilted in her strained anus
My knuckle-children drown in pooh
Tit for tat she straps on Jack(hammer)
Face in pillow she plies my crack
Lubeless, loveless, graceless rape
I'm seeing her again Friday
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23. |
Willyum
01:58
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Willyum
Slipped a trip and bared his shit
Backed up into the mirror
Admires his hairy pit
Is he hunting for Klingons?
In your face
That's right
And it feels so good
In your face
Yeah!
Feels so good
Nurse
Chafemann bathes the old
Rinsing bits of shit
From geriatric clits
And yeasty, fatty folds
He's a grower
Not a shower
Little peep, twixt his fingers
Billy's rubbin', his stiff nubbin
To boring, horror movies
We've changed a lot and then some, some
Know that we have always been down, down
And if I ever didn't thank you, you
Then just let me do it now
He's a grower
Not a shower
Little peep, twixt his fingers
To boring, horror films
FULCI LIVES!
Catheters, colostomies, scrubbing elderlies
Pudding farts, cake farts, brazilian farts
Poop and boners
311 and boners
Muppets and boners
These are a few of his favourite things
Rectal Thermometer
The Moustache Express
Anal Butthole
Projects that have not happened
Rectal Thermometer
The Moustache Express
Anal Butthole
Projects that have not happened
…Yet!
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24. |
Evacuated Penile Cyst
01:18
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Evacuated Penile Cyst
Purulent pecker kept in secret
Getting naked under blankets
If she knew, she wouldn't fuck me
Don't want to miss out on whoopee
Foetid fuck-stick in my jeans!
Skip fellatio, don't want her
Taking my goregasm in her maw
Avoiding her carpenter's grip
I slip my cystic dick in her slick slit
Vaginal pressure makes it sting!
Insertion, canal walls squeeze putrefaction from my wein
She suspects premmy orgasm 'til she looks at our uglies
Blood and pus and something green
Pumps from my groin rhythmically
Brace myself for her to scream
But she dismounts rapidly
Begins to feast from hands and knees
Sucking up my purulent stream
She now keeps my dick infected
So she can repast at will
Bites the cystic penile sheath
And gorges on what contents spill
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25. |
Colonoscopee
00:18
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26. |
Liberaunchy
00:29
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Liberaunchy
Vegas pianist's a hit with the ladies
But not in the way that you'd think
Satisfied the lasses while on stage
But satiated the dudes in his dressing room
Gross!
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27. |
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Ten Men Deep In The Minnesota ManPile
Gasping for air
Trapped under 10 dudes
Oops I got a boner
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28. |
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Scrambled And Vacuumed Out
Coat hanger shoved up her snizz
Making my living killing unwanted kids
P.S. I hate my life
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29. |
Anal Butthole
02:16
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Anal Butthole
Noise
And stuff
Finger me! Finger me! Finger me!
FUCK YOU!!!
More sounds n’ junk
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30. |
Vaginal Fart Turd
01:05
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Vaginal Fart Turd
Slapping, tickling, pummeling, pain
Flattery, battery, it's all the same
She, likes it hard, loves it rough
Adores handcuffed butt-stuff
Cunt, face, arse it doesn’t matter
As long as she gets your baby batter
Punch, kick, pull hair
This chick has no shame
In her stink he stuffs his lumber
This anal Viking rapes and plunders
Rectovaginal fascia asunder!
A ferocious, one-man over/under
A ripping, tearing pooh-tang blunder
She bites off more than she can chew
A footlong wiener has pierced both tubes
Punched in the face!
Punched in the fascia!
Punched in the face!
Punctured her fascia!
Her "water" breaks, gets the shakes
Much like curry guts
She feels the brown start to crown
Bends a viscous biscuit
From her front-bum
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Crap Factory Oconomowoc, Wisconsin
One day decided to make crappy music that we thought was funny, forgetting that what most people find disgusting and offensive, we find funny... and erotic.
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